


When One Time They Didn't

by Rytherlover



Category: South Park
Genre: Craig Tucker and Tweek Tweak in Love, Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls, M/M, This is crack, this isn't related to the fic but I saw it in the tags so I'm using it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:26:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27060418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rytherlover/pseuds/Rytherlover
Summary: Clyde bets Tweek and Craig they can't go one week without sex.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 9
Kudos: 148





	When One Time They Didn't

**Author's Note:**

> If you didn't read the tags, this is crack. I might come back later and have it be slightly less cracky...but for now, its crack
> 
> So don't mind if it starts off with a bang... lItErAlLy

"AH! Craig!"

"Fuck! Tweek!"

"I'm gonna-!"

"Me too!"

The couple came together, collapsing against each other in a heap of deep breaths and sweat. Craig pulled out of his lover with the only rebuttal being groans of over stimulation. His hands that were under Tweek's knees slowly moved the legs down towards the floor so he could stand again. Tweek dropped his hands from around the male's neck and wobbled slightly as he had to stand on his own again, but Craig didn't let his boyfriend fly solo too long. His hands came down on Tweek's hips to help stable him with a dazed smile.

"I think you're getting bigger." Tweek said slightly out of breath.

Craig laughed at the statement and gave him a small kiss to the forehead. "Hmm....I think you're getting tighter."

Tweek giggled and hit the male's chest. "Yeah, _right_."

The pair started to rearrange their clothes, pulling their jeans back up and zipping their zippers. Tweek buttoned up his open shirt, smiling softly at the small marks that were left down his chest. Craig rubbed his shoulders feeling a small swell of pride at the scratches that were torn into his skin and put on his sweatshirt.

Once they were readjusted and put back together the pair came together in an embrace, arms completely wrapped around one another, faces rubbing cheek against cheek in post-coitus bliss. Craig then dipped his head down and started to nip at Tweek's neck.

"You trying to go again?" Tweek laughed into the air.

Craig smirked against the skin. "I could."

Tweek's hands came under his boyfriend's hat with a light-hearted hum. "But we still haven't gone to lunch."

The noirette shrugged his shoulder and released the slender body from his arms, but reached for the smaller male's hand. "Fine, let's go eat." 

Clyde sat at the lunch table enjoying his food with the absence of a certain couple who usually eye-fuck each other at the table. His sandwich somehow tasting ten times better without the coos of a couple that can't stand to be more than five minutes apart. The brunette took a deep breath and let it out with a smile.

"Isn't this nice guys?" Clyde asked to Token and Jimmy, who also sat peacefully at the table.

Jimmy and Token nodded. "I'll admit, it is nice not having them sitting here and 'sharing their food'."

Jimmy laughed. "It's like we can actually enjoy our l-l-l-lunch."

Clyde nodded. "Exactly!" Another bite of the sandwich and the male beamed. "We don't even have to listen to them talk about how much they love each other and somehow get turned on by it."

"Yeah...Sometimes I wonder why they're like this." Token said before taking a bite of his pasta.

"Uh-uh-uh-oh guys. Don't look now, but h-h-here they come." Jimmy said with a slightly displeased face.

Clyde groaned setting down his sandwich knowing for a fact it will be ruined by the time they get here from their 'love'. "Ugh! Nooooo. I just wish they would stay in the janitor's closet all lunch. Rather than do it and come bask at the lunch table."

The couple walked to the table tangled up with one another, Tweek's arm wrapped around Craig's waist and Craig's arm wrapped around Tweek's shoulders. Their eyes locked as they smile at each other with these small, but fond smiles. Tweek in particular biting his lip and looking up at Craig with _that_ look in his eye.

The pair arrived at the table with the musk of sweat and cleaning products surrounding them, the odd scent completely washing over the other table mates as they sat down together. Tweek's body mostly on top of Craig as the noirette firmly held the blonde's waist with his arms. Even when they sat down it was like the couple had no idea that the other people at the table existed, their eyes doing their usual tango.

Clyde felt his stomach churn at the amount of love being displayed in front of him and gagged. "I'm so fucking sick of this..."

Tweek's ears perked up and looked towards the disturbed male with a carefree smile. "What did you say, Clyde?"

The brunette glared at the couple. "I _said_ I'm sick of watching you guys eye-fuck each other during lunch! It's disturbing! I can't eat!"

Craig scoffed slightly. "Yeah it's a problem because you can't _eat_."

"It's lunchtime! This is when I'm supposed to eat!" Clyde said clenching his fists. "But it's ruined when you guys sit there licking each other's eyeballs."

"Oh come on. It can't be _that_ bad." Tweek said leaning forward slightly, so he was no longer resting against Craig's chest, but on the table in front of him.

"It is!" Clyde hit the table with a dignified fist. "It _so_ is!"

"Yeah it is pretty bad with you guys." Token said not looking up from his lunch in his best attempt to stay out of the feud, but still get his point across.

Craig looked towards the rich male and shook his head. "Now you too? Jeez."

"Yes him now too! You guys couldn't keep your hand off each other for less than a minute. It started as a 'Wow they are so in love. Good for them.', but now it's beyond disturbing to watch you guys even sit next to each other!" Clyde vented.

Tweek rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning back onto his boyfriend again. "Okay...So we're kinda touchy, so what?"

"You guys aren't just _'kinda touchy'_. You guys are obsessed with sex with one another!" Clyde clapped his hands together before pointing at the hands at the couple. "I bet you guys just did it in the janitors closet!"

The couple averted their gazes from the table and grew vibrant hues of pink and red on their faces. The silence speaking louder than a 'no' or a 'yes' would have.

"Ha! I knew it! You guys are sick with each other!" Clyde said his tone growing. "I bet you guys couldn't go a week without banging."

Tweek let out a small laugh. "Pfft. Yes we could." He then elbowed the male he was sitting on. "Like we can't go a week without sex. We could _totally_ go a week without sex." Craig gave a laugh with Tweek, but a small pit of worry grew in his stomach from what they were getting into.

"No!" Clyde shouted. "No you could not!"

Tweek furrowed his brows. "Yes! We could!"

"No you can't!" Clyde shook his head with an exasperated tone.

Tweek slapped his hands down on the lunch table in frustration. "Yes, we can!"

Tweek's eyes bore into Clyde's with such a determination that the brunette saw an interesting opportunity arise. Clyde leaned back from the table, taking a breath to cool himself off and run a hand through his hair to smooth it. The brunette looked back up at the contender with a slightly devious look, his eyes slightly squinting and a small grin on his face.

"Alright. I'll believe that..." Clyde said coolly. The tone gave the couple a strange feeling, but Tweek reigned in his hands to rest on top of his lap with a satisfied nod, feeling happy he was no longer being defied by the opposing male. "...When I see it." Clyde finished with coy smirk.

Tweek glared at the male. "What do you mean?"

"Tweek, can we just let it g-" Craig started, but Tweek quickly put a finger up in the air, signalling he has started something and the noirette was not about to get in the middle of it.

"I mean...I bet that you guys can't go a week without fucking." Clyde crossed his arms over his chest with a smirk. The bet obviously throwing the devotedly attached couple off guard, but it wasn't more than a second later that Tweek's determined glare returned.

"What do we get out of this?" Tweek said crossing his arms to mimic Clyde's 'stance'.

"If you can, great! I'll rent you guys a hotel room and you guys can act like the rabbits you are." The brunette said with a shrug.

The defensive male looked Clyde up and down with a scrutinizing gaze. "And what if we can't?"

"Well..." Clyde laughed to himself as he thought about the possibilities, but an idea of the couple not being as touchy in front of him when he is trying to eat his lunch made him smile. "Then you guys don't get to do it at school anymore."

The couple gasped and clutched onto one another, the horrific idea of not being able to have their intimate moments with one another scaring them both, but Tweek pulled away from the embrace first with a fire in his eyes. 

"Deal."

" _What!?_ "

"Really? This again, Craig." Tweek said as he moved around the back of the counter preparing a cup of some sugary and caffeinated drink.

Craig followed Tweek from the front of the counter, walking with him as he hurriedly made the drink. "Yes this again! How could you just make that deal? You barely even consulted me about it!"

Tweek rolled his eyes, but turned out to the crowd of customers, calling a name. "Carla!" Tweek then set down the drink and went onto a different drink. "Listen Craig, you know how I am about challenges and this one isn't a big deal. _Plus..._ " Tweek gave a look around the cafe before leaning towards Craig across the counter to whisper. " _Hotel sex._ "

Craig shook his head at the obscure fantasies that must be running through Tweek's head and crossed his arms. "I could get us our _own_ hotel." The noirette reached under his hat ruffling his hair in annoyance "We don't need _Clyde_ to get it for us."

"Steven!" Tweek shouted before grabbing a rag and wiping down the machine that had just squeezed out Steven's drink. "It's different, Craig."

The noirette quirked a brow at him. "Oh really? How?"

Tweek gave a huff and threw down the rag as someone new walked into the shop. "It would be like us winning a couples getaway. All expenses paid for." Craig watched the person and Tweek exchange in the usual conversation that happens between a barista and a customer. The person paying then sitting at a distant table near the windows. Tweek then turned back to him with a sweet smile. "It's romantic."

"We don't need Clyde to have a _romantic_ night. Let's just win a couples getaway all expenses paid for!" Craig said with a hint of bitterness, but it quickly dropped when he eyed the way Tweek seemed to make the drink slower. Like he was getting lost in thought about the words and thinking about some deeper conversation that was more x-rated than the one they were having now.

The noirette smirked a bit, knowing that him saying 'a romantic night' probably hit some cord in the blonde and gave him a _certain_ feeling. It had become so easy for them to work each other up, just the sound of Tweek saying a word as bland as _paper_ could get him going these days. Seeing this change in demeanor made Craig lean forward on the counter, trying his best to get into Tweek's space so he could better whisper. "I don't need a hotel room to make you feel good."

Tweek closed his eyes, halting all of his movements, the chill running up his spine caused him to let out a weak sigh that sounded distressed. The blonde swallowed deeply trying to get himself in order, he hated it when Craig would do this during arguments or at work. Combining the worst of both worlds didn't sit right with him, but neither was the burning desire to have Craig ravage him right here, right now in front of all the customers.

With a displeased groan Tweek slammed a lid on the poorly done drink and slid it to the end of the pickup counter, not caring about the fact the drink almost fell off the counter during the slide. "Quincy!"

The blonde then grabbed a little sign that read 'Barista on Break' and placed it at the register before yanking his apron off of himself. The piece of fabric being tossed behind him as he walked out from behind the counter towards Craig with a vengeance in his eye. Tweek grabbed the front of the boys shirt and pulled him into the backroom. 

"Ah Craig~"

The noirette finally had worked the blonde open, taking one of his legs and raising it over his shoulder so he could slide into Tweek. Craig started to pump in the out of the blonde, the sounds he was giving off was enough to make the noirette go overboard, no friction needed.

"Ah! I-I hope you enjoy this." Tweek said through moans, his head tilted back in pleasure.

Craig slowed down his thrusts and furrowed his brows. "Why this one in particular?"

Tweek grabbed the males face with both hands and gave a sultry smile. "Because it's the last time were doing this for a week."

Craig's face fell as Tweek leaned forward to kiss him. 

Day 1:

Clyde sat at the lunch table enjoying his food when the couple came 15 minutes earlier than they usually did, the two of them looking a bit more than just disgruntled. The tired and frustrated looks signaling to the brunette that these two have not had their traditional daily release.

"You guys look like shit." Token said as the pair came up to the table.

Craig glared at Clyde as he said. "Ask Tweek why?"

Clyde gave a smug smile at Craig, feeling more than happy at the lack of love in the air. "Oh I can't wait to hear this." The brunette crossed his legs and leaned forward, resting his head on his hands in a flamboyant way and batting his eyelashes. "Tweek, why does it seem like someone peed in Craig's cereal bowl this morning?"

Tweek gave a squint of the eye. "It's because we are taking this bet seriously." He then sat down in his own seat with a huff, making sure to not be too close to Craig. "This better be some hotel."

The brunette laughed, but there was the underlying fear that he was about to pay for a hotel that he doesn't have a budget for. "I don't think I will have to worry about that."

"Yes." Tweek said with a harsh glare, pulling out a lunch he had packed, the serving not being as large as usual. Showing that he was not planning on doing his usual sharing of food with Craig. " _You do._ "

Clyde sat in his Physics class with that worried feeling from lunch still sitting in his stomach, he _could_ afford getting the couple a hotel room at the moment, but he didn't want to. He had been saving up for a new game that easily would cover the cost of a night at a resort, but he didn't want his savings to go towards the 'rabbits' he calls friends. This game was going to come out in the next two week and definitely would sell out the minute its out. So if he didn't have the money when he needed it, he wasn't getting that game.

Clyde looked over to Craig who was gazing at his blonde with a longing look despite the fact that they must have only gone this morning and up until now without sex.

_Oh this should be a piece of cake._

It wouldn't be hard to make them crack. The brunette would just have to hit at all the right spots for them to fall apart and give into...well...themselves.

All Clyde had to do was get them alone with each other long enough-along with just the right setting-to make them go for it . He could break them today, it was a Friday after all. They could all go to Token's house or his house, and Clyde would accidentally lock them in a room together leaving plenty of pillows and blankets laying around. There's no way they wouldn't fall for that.

Clyde scripted a note to Craig then crumpled it up so he could throw it at him.

_Down to hang at Token's tonight?_

The note hit the noirette's head with a small pat then to the ground. Craig turned around with a displeased face, his face only scowling more when he saw the thrower of the note. He then reached to his side to grab the crumpled piece of paper. The male read it then wrote on the paper, throwing the crumpled note back to the sender.

_I'm not really feeling it today_

Clyde frowned trying to think of a way to get the male to come out and went for ol' reliable. The brunette threw out his best shot at getting the noirette to come.

_Tweek is coming ;)_

When Craig read the note he rolled his eyes and shook his head, but the noirette did turn his head towards the special blonde in his life. A small smile came to his face before he looked away, writing down on the note then throwing it back.

_i'm not 15 anymore Clyde and he's my boyfriend now_

_but yeah fine._

Clyde read the note with a triumphant smile, a plan coming into his head and making him quietly laugh in a maniacal way. "They are so doing it tonight."

"What was that Mr. Donovan?" Mr. Barton said from the front of the class.

Clyde lit the final candle that surrounded the room with a romantic aura and an almost fairy-tail aura.

The couple had agreed to come hang out with Clyde, Token and Jimmy at the Black household, which gave the brunette the perfect opportunity to use one of the 50 spare rooms in the mansion to set up the screw room of the 'rabbits' dreams. Making sure to light a minimum of 20 candles around the room, then putting a trail of rose petals he stole from Token's garden that led all the way to the large bed that had dark red satin sheets and pillows.

As Clyde was surveying the room he noticed a small sound system that hooks up to speakers that hung on the walls. The brunette took one of the remotes he saw on the dresser, pointing it at the black box he assumed went with the speakers. He clicked the on button and a provocative song sounded throughout the room, Clyde smirked as he thought this piece of machinery was the final piece of the room to really set the couple off.

"Perfect."

"H-H-Hey guys. Has anyone seen my other c-c-crutch?" Jimmy asked from the couch, finally noticing that his other crutch had been stolen.

Clyde made a shocked face, one of his hands clasping the side of his face in surprise. "You can't find it? We should all go look for it!" Token eyed the enthusiasm that the brunette seemed to have for finding the mis-placed item.

"Yeah okay...Let's go look guys." Token said pausing the game he was playing against Craig and standing from the couch.

"Yeah good idea!" Clyde smiled watching Tweek who was sitting all the way on the other side of the couch from Craig stand up and begin to leave in search of Jimmy's item. "Let's split up! It will help us find it faster." Clyde ran after the blonde, grabbing his arm to pull him towards Craig. Tweek yelped at the sudden pulling of his arm, but let himself be pulled next to his boyfriend. "You two can go together upstairs while Token and I search downstairs."

"Okay, we'll go upstairs." Craig gave his friend a small glare at the words, his voice sounding suspicious as the pair turned to walk upstairs.

Tweek and Craig walked up the stairs together, their hands slightly brushed past one another as they climbed. The contact made Tweek look at Craig out of the corner of his eye just to gauge how he's doing so far without a certain happy ending they usually give each other. The noirette was looking at his blonde with a certain glint of something in his eyes, it could have been boredom and Tweek would still feel the worked up feeling he has right now.

Sensing his own infatuation rising Tweek looked away and turned his head to the right, keeping Craig out of his sight all together, but also not noticing Clyde creeping behind them at a snails pace. 

"I don't think it's up here." Craig said meeting Tweek in the middle of the hall way.

Tweek nodded with the noirette. "Yeah, I checked all the rooms over-"

" _I've heard people say that too much of anything is not good for ya baby._ "

The blonde furrowed his brows at the sound of a song being played from one of the rooms, his head turning towards where the sound of the funky beat seemed to be coming from. "Is that..."

" _But I don't know about that._ "

Craig also turned towards the room, his mouth turning to a confused frown. "Did you check this one?"

" _There's many times that we've loved and shared love and made love._ "

Tweek shook his head slowly. "No, I thought you did."

" _It doesn't seem to me like it's enough._ "

"I didn't." Craig said taking a step towards the room. "I thought you did."

" _It's just not enough. Nah baby. It's just not enough._ "

Tweek stood behind Craig as he opened the door, the sight of the room making the couple's jaw drop in shock. The room had been decked out in different scented candles, the aroma of the room smelling like cinnamon and vanilla. There were rose petals strewn about the room, the red slips of rose tried to coax the couple to the bed where a large pile of them seemed to collect on the middle of the soft comforter.

" _My darling I~ I Can't get enough of your love babe._ "

The pair stood in shock and other brewing emotions for another moment before Craig pointed out the missing crutch. "H-hey uh there it is."

Tweek saw the sliver piece of metal and nodded. "Yep...there it is...in the middle...of the room."

"Makes you wonder what Jimmy was doing in here." Craig says to himself, but the comment making Tweek laugh. The emission sounding better than the song and acting as it's own aphrodisiac for the desperate noirette. Needing to just get out of the room Craig quickly walked forward to grab the crutch. "Alright let's just get out of here."

Tweek trailed behind the noirette. "Yeah, it's making me antsy."

As soon as the couple was out of the hallway and in the room, the door closed behind them and successfully locked them into the room. The couple turned around at the same time staring at the door in fear, not because of the unseen force that seemed to have possessed the door, but because of the fact they have been locked alone in a room together...with a bed in it.

Tweek ran to the door trying to open it, but the knob wouldn't budge.

"Did that just close and lock us in here?" Craig said worry thick in his voice.

The blonde slowly turned from the door towards Craig, keeping his back pressed against the wooden door, Tweek did a meek nod to his boyfriend. "Yeah."

Clyde checked his watch as he was 'looking' for Jimmy's crutch in the basement. It had been at least twenty minutes since he had locked them in there. "That's enough time." The brunette then trekked up the three flights of stairs to reach the bedroom he had set up for his friends with a small smirk. There was no way they would be able to resist one another. How could they? It wasn't like they were able to escape from the other. Literally.

Clyde unlocked the door, the music of the room drowning out any noise that he would have expected to hear from within. The brunette felt victorious when he opened the door, but after surveying the room his face quickly fell along with his new sense of confidence.

There was no sex happening in the room.

It would be quite impossible actually because there wasn't even a second person in the room. Craig wasn't anywhere to be found. Tweek laid on the floor reading a magazine, his head swaying back and forth with the music as he read. On a side note all the candles had been blown out, the rose petals had been disposed of and all the sheets on the bed had been taken off and put somewhere the brunette couldn't place.

"Oh hi, Clyde." Tweek said finally looking up at the male with a smile. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Clyde looked at the blonde opening and closing his mouth then finally muttering out. "B-but-but...Where did Craig go?"

Tweek laughed slightly at the flabbergasted male. "Craig? He went out the window." The blonde motioned behind him to the open window. Tweek blushed a bit and bit his lip as he recalled the events of Craig trying to escape before things got too personal between the couple."It uh...got a little stuffy in here."

"Wh-What! H-How?" Clyde asked going over towards the window. All of the bed sheets had been tied together to be used as a makeshift rope to aid in helping the noirette climb down from the third story floor.

"Oh yeah" Tweek then stood up and handed the crutch to Clyde. "We found it." The blonde then walked out of the room with a small smile while softly singing. "Can't get enough of your love babe~"

Day 2:

"Isn't this fun guys!" Clyde said as he tied the laces to his bowling shoes. His eyes wandering to Tweek to see how the blonde is reacting to being here.

Token gave Clyde a sideways look. "We literally just got here. What is there to be fun right now?"

Clyde stood up from tying his shoes with a shrug. "I don't know. I'm just really excited to play."

In all honestly the brunette could care less about bowling alleys and bowling in general, the only reason he had pleaded for the group to come to this frightfully dingy alley was Tweek had once confided in him-told him without warning-that he loved bowling alleys. Except the blonde didn't seem to like bowling alleys for the same reason that any functioning member of society would like these pin and ball places.

When Clyde was told this, Tweek was sitting on one of the benches while Craig was up, the blonde's eyes were practically undressing the noirette as he went. Then even after Craig had lamely missed all of the pins because his ball fell into the gutter, the blonde said in quite the lecherous tone. " _God_ , I love bowling." To this day Clyde had never and hopes to never know why Tweek was so aroused by watching Craig bowl.

"Well, I'm not." Tweek said not even bothering to put on the proper shoes as his own form of protest. The anxiousness in Tweek's stomach welling up as he watched Craig do dumb stretches for his hands that would apparently make him bowl better since he stunk. "Did we really have to come here for our 'fun' activity?"

"D-D-Don't be such a s-stick in the mud Tweek." Jimmy said, one of his crutches nudging at the blonde's improper foot wear. "I'm even d-d-doing it."

Tweek rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "I'm still not playing."

"Look's like you'll miss all the fun of coming then." Craig said grabbing his regular shoes to carry with them to their bench.

The group settled themselves into a corner of the alley with probably the worst looking lane, the paint for the lines was completely chipped off and there only seemed to be 9 pins being dispensed at a time.

Token went first and showed up the rest of the group by getting a strike, or what the boys considered a strike sense there was only 9 pins. Then Clyde went and knocked down three pins. Tweek went a gave a lame roll that had no strength to it, the blonde simply just let it fall out of his hand to see where it went, earning him a surprising 5 pins down.

Where it got serious is when Craig got up to take his turn.

Tweek noticed it was his turn and immediately got up. "I'm gonna go refill our drinks! Who needs a refill?"

Clyde noticed the attempt to flee and grabbed the blonde's arm to pull him down next to him on the bench. "You can have my drink."

"No. It's _fine_ , Clyde." Tweek said gritting his teeth slightly, his eyes watching as Craig stretched his arms awkwardly to prepare for his first roll before he turned his head away to look at the soda machine. "I'll just go fill mine."

Clyde put a finger on the blonde cheek and redirected his stare back to Craig who was looking at balls to see which one he wanted. "Don't be modest. Just sit back and watch."

Tweek looked and instantly regretted looking.

Craig had chosen a dark green ball picking it up in his hands to see where the finger holes were innocently. Tweek bit his bottom lip in anticipation as he watched his boyfriend fumble around with the ball. Then finally the noirette found those three holes with a small vocalized 'aha' and slowly dipped his fingers into them. The long digits pressing into the cervices with a peculiar amount of care that made Tweek whimper at the insertion. As soon as the fingers were fully inside, the dark material of the bowling ball squeezed around the them, almost sucking them in as Craig did a practice roll of not letting the ball go. Tweek could barely tear his eyes away from the image that was currently driving him crazy.

"Dude, just go you suck any ways." Token said, a laugh coming from Jimmy.

Craig turned around with a glare. "Bud out. You had your turn."

The noirette turned back to the lane and swung his ball, the ball immediately flew into the gutter with a loud thunk. The males around the bench all started to laugh except for Tweek who let out a whine at the action. Despite the fact that Craig sucked at bowling and if anything it should be a turn off, Tweek wanted nothing more than Craig to grab him like he just grabbed that bowling ball.

After his failure of a turn Craig sat down next to Tweek, unaware of the current condition the blonde was in. The noirette leaned back on the bench and let his arm sling over the top of it, his hand slightly grazing Tweek's opposite shoulder. The touch sent a shiver through Tweek, he was being driven up the wall and he nor Craig could do a thing about it.

Tweek couldn't do this and in fact refused to.

"Fuck this, I'm out of here." Tweek stood up with a large huff in frustration. Turning back to where Craig sat on the bench, leaning over him with a mean glare. Their faces inches from touching as Tweek hovered, a single hand leaning on the bench near Craig's shoulder. Tweek saying a low voice. " _God, I want you to fuck me._ "

Then he promptly left. 

Day 3:

Craig tapped his foot nervously. He wasn't doing well. It had only been 3 days of this dumb bet and he was at the verge of busting a nut just at the sight of his blonde.

When he picked up Tweek to come hang out this lovely Saturday morning all he could think about is the way Tweek was walking to the truck. It wasn't like he was swaying his hips or anything like that, he was just casually walking with his legs. Those leg that usually wrap around him if he hit that special part of his blonde just right.

Craig felt his face heat up and closed his eyes to try and block out his surroundings. Token and Jimmy were talking to one another about something the noirette couldn't really catch because a set of green eyes and long legs kept on pushing into his thoughts. Making it close to impossible to even try and listen to his friends.

"You o-o-o-okay, Craig?" Jimmy asked, noticing the way he was gripping the patio chair so hard that his knuckles were turning white. "Craig?"

"Huh?" Craig came out of his head and opened his eyes to look at Jimmy. "What did you say?"

"We were just wondering how you're doing?" Token asked, giving the noirette a sympathetic smile.

Craig let go of the arm rest of his patio chair with a small wince, his knuckles hurt from the tension that had been built by him squeezing the chair. A small case of trigger finger shocking his knuckle in place. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

Jimmy and Token made eye contact before looking back at Craig. "You uh...seem a little on edge." Token said grabbing a water bottle and passing it to the tense male.

"Oh. Do I?" Craig said opening the bottle, but his hands were squeezing the middle of the container too hard and all the water within it shot out through the spout when the bottle cap came off. The noirette looked at his now soaked pants with a plain face. He wasn't even surprised at himself anymore, he was dying for Tweek and it was clear as day. He put down the now half-empty bottle and wiped his face with a single hand. Flicking off the excess water with a whip of the wrist. "I guess I am."

"Oh no, Craig! What happened?" Tweek said with a slightly worried tone.

Craig shook his head, unable to look up at his boyfriend. "Nothing. Just spilled some water."

"Let me get you some napkins." Tweek said before rushing back into the house where he had previously been snacking on crackers in hopes of staying away from the male he was now planning on drying off.

While Tweek left Token leaned forward. "Dude, why don't you just go home? It's self-sabotage being here."

Craig shook his head and said with a grimace. "I'm stronger than my libido."

Token shrugged and retracted back to his seat.

"Here are the napkins!"

Tweek came running over and squatted down to cover Craig's lap with the barely absorbing paper napkins. His hands pressing the white sheets down against Craig's thighs with enough pressure to send him to the moon and back. The pressing touches against sensitive skin feeling like a hot iron on frost bite, it was agony. Craig tried to withhold a groan as Tweek's hand pressed against his groin to further dry his soaked lap. The blonde not seeming to notice the way he was pressing nor the area he was pressing. He felt himself getting overly excited in his pants at the feeling, knowing the way this was heading if Tweek kept 'drying' his lap.

He didn't want to stop Tweek, but he didn't want him to keep going either; both of the scenarios leaving Craig unsatisfied in different ways.

Craig grabbed Tweek's wrists.

Tweek looked up with big eyes, he was greeted back with a face he didn't quite understand. It was sad eyes, furrowed brows, a squiggled mouth and a scrunched up nose. Tweek almost wanted to laugh at the face, but he couldn't get over the deeply hurt look in Craig's eyes.

And in a strained voice Craig struggled out. "It's dry." 

Day 4:

Clyde let out a grumble as he sat in his room, he was so close to getting them at the bowling alley, but Tweek decided to go rogue and leave just when he was about to crack.

There had to be something else he had been told by the horn-dogs that would aid him. Something either of the bastards said that would drive the other mad.

Then it came to him. He recalled the time the group was hanging out and Tweek had been particularly tired. He was unable to keep his eyes open and couldn't stop yawning.

Clyde didn't know what specifically had sparked it, but Craig was beyond fixated on Tweek that night. Anytime he showed a sign of him being tired, the noirette's eyes would trail the blonde like a wolf.

Clyde remembering in particular when Craig had pulled Tweek on his lap and growled into his ear. "You're getting it tonight."

The only relief in the moment being Jimmy saying. "Getting a n-n-nap I hope!"

Clyde smiled evilly to himself as he grabbed his phone and pulled up Tweek's contact. Starting a conversation that would never end nor ever let the blonde sleep a wink. 

"Hey Tweek! I know it's late, but I was wondering... What are your thoughts on North Korea?"

Craig was sitting in his English class, the lecture about different poems going on much longer than he would have liked. He always hated this class. The constant talking about literature that didn't seem to be important in the slightest and the obscure books they would have to read. Not even Tweek being in his class could help the boredom that occurred in this class, especially since the male would make it his duty to pay attention to every word like they came straight from Isabel Allende herself. Just as Craig was about to make the decision to 'go to the bathroom' and walk the halls for the next twenty minutes, a sharp noise erupted from across the room. 

It was one of the sweetest yawns that he had ever heard, and one of the more sexy sounds that Tweek makes. The slight pitch as he finished off the gentle whine of sleepiness that Tweek let out, making Craig's heart palpitate slightly. 

His brows furrowed as he forced himself to turn away from Tweek's tiredness. Knowing too well that Tweek was on the verge of doing that cat-yawn that would cause him to arch his back and let out another one of those cute, but sensual sounding mewls. 

That one would absolutely rattle him to his core. He knew from experience after a deadly cycle of Tweek being tired and Craig finding the little sleepy response too much to handle. He promised himself to never engage in 'the act' while Tweek was tired because of the prolonged week of drowsy Tweek and a horned up Craig.

Craig, assuming that Tweek had let his yawn come and go, took a quick glance over at his boyfriend. 

He was wrong. 

He was so very wrong. 

Tweek wasn't done. He had just got started. 

His back was arched in a perfect curve, the spine's bend reminding Craig of a certain pose he had usually only seen during their more intimate times. Tweek's head titled back with his mouth open and gasping for air to be circulated into his brain, in hopes of waking up the lethargic male. His eyes were closed as he gripped onto his chair, the features being so delicate, but at the same time so strained. He was on the edge of his seat as he tried get that catching of breath that would fill his lungs the way he wanted. He let out a small whimper as he finally got that good puff into himself. Something to satisfy the slow breathing that had taken place to cause the yawn in the first place. 

He came down from the stretch he had been in with a content smile, the sleepy eyes gently flapping their butterfly lashes as he blinked. Tweek seeming to come down from his own little air high as he laid his head in his arms with a small hum. 

Craig looked away from Tweek to glance at the problem going on underneath his belt. Knowing that he should just give up and leave the classroom, no point on fighting a losing battle. "May I use the restroom?" Craig squeaked in a pained voice. 

Day 5:

Tweek knew that someone _must_ have been doing this on purpose. 

Some had to be purposefully planting these horrendous acts towards him while he was on his own week trial of 'No Nut November'. Maybe it was karma for stealing the last of the coffee this morning, maybe it was a punishment for using Photomath on all his calculus homework. He swore he would start actually doing his work from now on if what was happening would just stop. 

Even if this _was_ punishment, it _wasn't_ fair. 

Craig sat at the lunch table, explaining every key detail of waves for their physics quiz next period, to Clyde. 

_It was horrible._

He had rolled up the sleeves of his sweatshirt to his elbows, his forearms were just sitting out and open. He always rolled up his sleeves when he would explain anything, he claimed that it helped him think, but in reality it just helped Tweek feel insane. 

What really had him up the wall was the tone Craig was using with Clyde as he spoke. He was slightly annoyed and it was so firm in means of trying to penetrate the thick skull Clyde possessed. His deep voice was commanding, but still on the verge of understanding as he spoke. Those crisp words being spoken from thin, but oh so kissable lips. Lips that have said sweet and encouraging words during bad times, and suggestive and racy words during good times. 

Tweek shuddered as Craig said. "Clyde, you dumbass. The amplitude is the _height_ of the wave."

The way his lip curled at Clyde and his lack of knowledge, caused a shiver to run through Tweek's spine like an Olympic champion. Tweek bit his own lip as he imagined the way Craig would use that tone on him. 

Craig looked over towards him, which meant he had been staring too long, but it didn't seem Craig minded as he gave a half-smile at the blonde's flushed face. 

Tweek felt his stomach turn in excitement and his face contort into slight anger at the small expression. Why is he looking at him like that? Especially in a time like this. 

He got up with a new found frustration and proceeded to eat lunch in the library. 

Day 6:

Tweek stayed hoarded in his room, he was safe there. He didn't even need to go by Craig or see him. He had all the company he needed with a penny, a potato chip and a slightly used napkin. He couldn't afford to go out anyways, especially when they were so close to making it the whole week. 

Yesterday was a close call when Craig drove him home from work. 

On the ride home everything was going normal-as it could be-and the damn bastard _coughed._

He coughed like the sexy man he was. Tweek hated that cough usually, yet he couldn't help himself from pouncing at Craig when he heard that expel of germs through the mouth. He had kissed Craig all over his face, but he didn't deny the kisses. All his boyfriend did was pull over as they started to make-out in the car. It wasn't even kissing as much as it was just putting one another's mouth on what the you could assume was a mouth. It was a disgusting mashing of bodies and mouths before Tweek scurried away to the other side of the car.

"I need to get out of here." Tweek said as he jiggled the door handle, Craig's car usually being broken in some place or another. The broken place in particular was the lock to the passenger side door, making Tweek's escape close to impossible. "Let me out, Craig!"

Craig was pressing on the button hurriedly as he tried to get Tweek out of the car before anything more happened. "I'm trying!"

"Fuck it." 

And that's how Tweek was found throwing himself out of Craig's window by the neighborhood. 

Day 7:

"I think it's cheating if you just hide away in your room for one of the days." Clyde said as he glared at Tweek. 

The blonde gave a middle finger to the male. "Kiss my ass. I can't even listen to my boyfriend cough." 

"Who's kissing your ass?" Craig said, popping his head in from the hallway as he was passing the room. 

They were at Jimmy's house, the least sexiest house that the couple could schedule a hangout session at. Tweek and Craig trying desperately to kill the next 14 hours of today so they could finally just be near each other normally. Thinking the best way to spend the time was hang out with some people who were most likely to keep things PG just because they didn't want to see anything beyond that rating. 

Tweek laid back on Jimmy's bed with a sigh. "No one, Craig."

Craig seemed to be satisfied by the assurance on his fidgety mind and walked onto the other room where Jimmy was doing karaoke with Token. The dark circles and slightly deflated facial features making Tweek frown as he passed by the door. He felt bad for his poor boyfriend who at the very least just wanted to hold him.

"You're a real ass, Clyde." Tweek said with a glare towards the brunette reading Jimmy's extensive comic collection. 

Clyde put his reading down and gave a glare. "Why? Because I just wanted one lunch with out the smell of bleach radiating off of you guys because you like to bang in the janitors closet?"

"Yes!" Tweek said, sitting up from the bed he had been laying down on. "Who cares if we smell like bleach?!"

Clyde threw his magazine to the side. "It's not literally the bleach smell! It's the fact I can't eat my lunch without seeing you guys being... being gross!

"You could have just asked if you wanted us to stop!" 

"Well I'm asking now!" Clyde said with a raising voice.

"Well I think that's a reasonable request!" Tweek said louder.

"Why didn't we just talk about this among ourselves this earlier?!" Clyde yelled.

"I don't know!" Tweek shouted back, pausing for a moment before yelling out again. "Wanna hug it out?!"

Clyde nodded. "Yeah!" 

Craig's head came back into the room, his droopy eyes glaring at the scene. "If people are getting hugs from Tweek. I wanna go first."

"Here." Craig said as he slapped a handful of money into Clyde's hand. Giving a small shiver as he stood outside Clyde's house, the cold air nipping at his slightly exposed ankles. The jeans he was wearing not being longe enough to protect him from the seasons. Tweek sat in the car waiting for Craig to finish up the interaction with his own feeling of coldness without his radiator boyfriend. 

Clyde stared wide-eyed at the cash. "W-What is this for?"

"The hotel." Craig said with a straight face.

Tweek and Craig walked down the lemon scented hallway with one overnight bag for the both of them to share. The two of them walking down the hallway with tired faces, the spunk of having sexy couple time having left after the week that left them emotionally and-somehow-physically exhausted. 

Craig opened the hotel's door with the little card they had been given at the front desk, opening the door for Tweek to go in first. 

The room was nice. 

It had all the things a five-star hotel would give you for the low, low price of too much money. A view from one of the highest floors, a jacuzzi in the tub, a large tv that didn't alway work, shell shaped soaps and crappy bedside chocolates. Despite the niceties, the couple could care less. The immediately collapsed on the bed with a large collective huff, the duffle bag of clothes and other needs being dropped on the floor. 

The two started to curl towards one another with a tired noises and small grumbles, wanting nothing more for the night than to hold on to one another. The two of them not being able to do so the whole week and now just basking in the other's arms. Clutching their other half closer with nothing more than a settling hum of ease. 

Tweek smiled as he thought about them and how they were currently _not_ having sex. "What's one more night?"

**Author's Note:**

> once again this is pretty cracky


End file.
